


Don't Panic. PANIC!

by PrincessSelene04



Series: We Rise with the Sun [5]
Category: Renegades - Marissa Meyer
Genre: Anxiety, Bonding, Brotp, Gen, Panic Attacks, oscar is a good friend, oscar is concerned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-01
Updated: 2020-02-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:42:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22516432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincessSelene04/pseuds/PrincessSelene04
Summary: “Nova? Are you alright?” The voice on the other side of the door was muffled, but she knew right away it wasn’t Adrian. “Nova?” It took another few seconds for her to comprehend that it was Oscar.Only now did Nova realize she was sobbing.“I-I ca-an’t--”
Relationships: Nova Artino | Nightmare & Oscar Silva | Smokescreen, Nova Artino | Nightmare/Adrian Everhart | Sketch
Series: We Rise with the Sun [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564663
Comments: 4
Kudos: 48





	Don't Panic. PANIC!

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, the title is, in fact, a high school musical reference.

Nova tried to steady her breathing. She tried to think. She tried to make herself stand up from where she sat on the tiled bathroom floor. She tried counting to ten. She tried doing the ABCs backwards. She tried to take a deep breath again. 

She just couldn’t do it. 

Her mind was jumbled and the worst part was that she had no idea what set her off. One second she was in Adrian’s room reading a book, the next her heart was pounding in her chest and she was racing for the bathroom to hide.

Her hands clenched and unclenched her hair over and over again.

“Come on, Nova. You’re fine,” she whispered to herself. “Everything is  _ fine. _ ” Nova sure as hell didn’t feel fine though. She felt like she was on the verge of a breakdown.

She tried taking another deep breath, but it was short and shallow once again. Why couldn’t she breathe right? Why couldn’t she think? Why was this happening to her?

Adrian’s bedroom door opened and someone walked in, but Nova was too lost in her thoughts to hear it. She wasn’t, however, too lost in her thoughts to hear whoever it was knock on the door. It took her a few seconds to register it, but she heard it.

“Nova? Are you alright?” The voice on the other side of the door was muffled, but she knew right away it wasn’t Adrian. “Nova?” It took another few seconds for her to comprehend that it was Oscar.

Only now did Nova realize she was sobbing.

“I-I ca-an’t--”

What couldn’t she do? Speak? Breathe? Move? No, she couldn’t do any of those right now. She was going to stay on the bathroom floor all day, struggling to think, breathe, move. 

“Can I come in?”

Somehow she managed to push herself away from the door enough that it could open. “Y-yes,” she sniffled.

Oscar stepped inside the room. He frowned immediately upon seeing Nova on the ground sobbing. Without a second thought, he leaned his cane against the sink and slid down the door to sit next to her. His brow furrowed with concern. “Nova what happened?”

“I d-don’t know.” Her body shook from her sobs. She pulled her legs up to her chest, wrapped her arms around them, then buried her face into her knees. 

He reached over to put a hand on her back, but thought better of it. “What can I do to help?”

She gave the same response to that as she did the last question. Sweet rot, what was happening to her? She’d been so sure of herself lately, knowing exactly what she needed or wanted. But somehow she was reduced to a mess because of… well, she still didn’t know why.

“Can I hug you?”

Okay. She could answer that. Nova lifted her head from her knees, tears streaming down her red cheeks. “Y-yes.”

Oscar wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close so that her head rested on his chest. 

It was a nice change from the tile floor, made her feel more human, comforted even. He’d only been with her for thirty seconds, but already the simple act of being in his embrace made her feel much more calm.

Maybe she was touch starved.

No that couldn’t have been it. She was in Adrian’s arms all morning before he left to talk to his dads and the council about a new law. She had physical contact with someone else, so that couldn’t be the problem.

They stayed like that for a while, him rubbing Nova’s back as her breathing slowly returned to normal. She wasn’t sure how long they sat there, but the stiffness in her limbs told her it was at least an hour.

“Thank you,” she whispered. She absolutely despised how small and vulnerable her voice sounded, but there was nothing she could do to change that.

“Any time.”

Neither of them made a move to get up.

Oscar looked down at her, eyes still filled with concern. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” she sighed. “One second I was fine, the next I was spiraling. It’s like something in my head just…”

“Snapped?”

Nova nodded. “Exactly.”

“Have you had a panic attack before?”

She lifted her head from his shoulder and gave him a confused look. “That wasn't a panic attack, Oscar. I don’t get panic attacks, I’m fine.”

He raised both his eyebrows at her, making Nova suddenly feel very self conscious.

“That was definitely a panic attack, trust me. I used to get them all the time after the fire. Sometimes they just sneak up on you. Like you said, one second you’re fine, the next you’re struggling to breath and are shaking. Other times you can’t talk. They’re terrible.”

“You used to get panic attacks?”

“Still do sometimes,” he admitted. “My mom put me in therapy though. That really helped. I can manage myself much better on the rare occasion I have one now. But sometimes I get one bad enough that I can’t talk myself down from.”

“Can you teach me? How to handle them?”

Oscar shook his head with a regretful smile. “I would, but you really need to go to therapy to figure out the root of the problem first. If you don’t know the root, then it’s impossible to solve or help with them. I tried, it didn’t work.”

Resting her cheek back on his shoulder, Nova closed her eyes. She listened to the sound of Oscar’s steady heartbeat. 

“Nova.”

“Hm?”

“You really should see someone. There are plenty of therapists at headquarters that would see you. Or you could find someone--”

“I don’t need a therapist, Oscar. It hasn’t happened before and I doubt it’ll happen again. Can we just forget about it?” Nova didn’t want to talk about it any more. There was no reason for her to be having panic attacks. She never had before and there wasn’t a reason for her to start now.

He sighed. “Yeah. But will you please let me know if it happens again?”

“Fine.”


End file.
